These are the only things that I would need to fix our broken political system if I were in the big man’s shoes. We could skip all off the hoopla about fancy dinners, shiny cars and three-piece suits. All our congress men and women need to do is invite their political counterparts on a little field trip.
Whatcha do is, go down to the local general store and buy yourself some fresh bait, a case of RC cola and a box of Moon Pies. Take your party to your best fishing hole, and spend the afternoon out under a good shade tree with your lines in the water. There isn’t anything that can’t be resolved over a bottle of RC and a good Moon Pie. You get the opportunity to get out into the open air of the country. You get to see the wildlife up close, and forget about the stuffiness of your offices.
The duct tape? Oh, that. Well, you see… you’d use the duct tape in only the most dire of situations. Let’s say that you’re in a planned session of Congress, and someone across the aisle won’t stop heckling you. We have a saying up here in the mountains: ‘Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.’ Need I say more?