Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Duct Tape And Moon Pies

These are the only things that I would need to fix our broken political system if I were in the big man’s shoes. We could skip all off the hoopla about fancy dinners, shiny cars and three-piece suits. All our congress men and women need to do is invite their political counterparts on a little field trip.
 
Whatcha do is, go down to the local general store and buy yourself some fresh bait, a case of RC cola and a box of Moon Pies. Take your party to your best fishing hole, and spend the afternoon out under a good shade tree with your lines in the water. There isn’t anything that can’t be resolved over a bottle of RC and a good Moon Pie.  You get the opportunity to get out into the open air of the country. You get to see the wildlife up close, and forget about the stuffiness of your offices.
 
The duct tape? Oh, that. Well, you see… you’d use the duct tape in only the most dire of situations. Let’s say that you’re in a planned session of Congress, and someone across the aisle won’t stop heckling you. We have a saying up here in the mountains: ‘Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.’ Need I say more?

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

What Roadkill Can Teach You About Life

  We've all seen it. You're driving down a highway or back road, and there it is -- splattered all over the pavement. I'm not going to get into the gory details, or draw any chalk outlines, but I think that you get what I'm saying here. Road kill. Have you ever stopped to wonder what lessons, if any, could be taken from that lost beast along the road? What's that? You never thought in your wildest dreams (or nightmares) that a squirrel frisbee could teach you some valuable information about life? Well, sit right back, and soak in the knowledge, friends!

1. You've gotta have guts.

  This applies to both the figurative and literal meanings. If you want to be successful in life, or live with few regrets, you've gotta have the courage to pursue the goals and dreams that you so desire. If you've thought of starting your own small business, entering your painting in the art show, writing the next great American novel, or even running for public office then you've gotta muster up the guts to get out there and make it happen.

2. You've gotta be able to stare Death square in the eye.

  If you're going to get out there and pursue your dreams, then you've gotta be able to accept defeat on the highest level. There will likely be more times that you have to pick yourself back up out of the dirt and dust yourself off then you'll win. However, the most successful folks in the world are the ones that are able to take one on the chin, and get right back up and continue to fight for what they want.

3. You've gotta be patient.

  Sure, you could sprint right out into your endeavor -- guns a-blazin' -- but, then you're likely to get squashed flat. Take your time. Study your surroundings. How are people that are successful in your endeavor doing it? How did they get there? How are similarly aspiring folks getting by? Can you learn from their successes or mistakes? Be patient, and do your homework. You'll be able to dodge the darting pitfalls of your chosen goals if you do.

  Didn't think that it was possible for me to give you inspiration utilizing some two-dimensional wildlife? Oh, have ye little faith. I hope that this seriously helps you on your way to getting whatever it is that you want out of this life. It's a one-way ticket after all.
 
  What are your goals or dreams? How are you getting along with them? Share your success stories and lessons learned below!

Friday, November 2, 2012

Hillbillies In Star Wars

  With the recent announcement by George Lucas and Disney to start the production of the final series of trilogy films in Star Wars, it seems like a good time to reflect on how the hillbilly culture has already influenced the historic franchise, and speculate about how it may influence it in the series to come. What's that? You have trouble believing that there were any hillbillies in the first six Star Wars films at all? Well, then sit right back, and let's examine the evidence at hand. Then we'll see about this 'no hillbillies in Star Wars' theory of yours.
  You can scan the hours of film on the first six Star Wars films, and true -- you will not find a long bearded toothless person in coveralls. Take a closer look at the characters. Do their traits and situations resemble those of some hillbillies? Undeniably, I say -- yes. Let's start with the main hero in the original series of films, Luke Skywalker. His momma died giving birth to him. His daddy done ran away, and joined the bad guys. He gets raised on a farm by his next of kin. Not to mention that he thought that he had a crush on his would-be sister. Ahh... not convinced yet, eh? Let us move on to his mentor apparent, Obi Wan.
  Obi Wan Kenobi lived in a hole in a mountain by himself. Everyone thought that he was senile and crazy. He was sporting a rather classy beard. He had wild stories of former wars and adventures that no one seemed to believe... Classic hillbilly.
  The next example for consideration in this discussion, Chewbacca. Come on! The wookie hasn't gotten a haircut or a shave -- ever. He almost always walks around with a rifle. He talks in a language that only a few people can even understand. He rips people's arms out of their sockets when he loses. Someone please hand this wookie a banjo!
  My final exhibit for your consideration in this exercise is the guru of the first trilogy himself -- Yoda. He was old and lived in the forest in solitude. He only had two teeth in his entire head. He was very powerful and wise. Oh, and he had a palate for worm soup. Not a hillbilly? Pishaw!
  There you have it! Several prime examples of how the hillbilly culture has already influenced the Star Wars franchise. One can only speculate as to how our culture will continue to shape and mould the future film series, and the rest of the American cultural fabric in the years to come.